10 Action-Steps for BIG CHANGE

10 Action-Steps for BIG CHANGE

Are you ready for BIG CHANGE in your life but unsure of where to start?

I have the perfect thing for you..

Download my FREE CHECKLIST: 10 action-steps to inspire BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

Do you want to make big change in your life? Do you want to get unstuck? Stop surviving when you should be thriving?

Of course you do.

Why would you want to stay where you are, stagnant, unmoving, not progressing, unhappy?

But you do. You stay where you are. Frozen.

Why?

Because change isn’t easy.

Its intimidating and scary and away from the “comfortable” life you have been building.

I say comfortable not because I think being stuck is comfortable. I say comfortable because its easier to stay the same. Its easier to sit back and wait for things to happen to you. Its easier to stay stuck than it is to get unstuck. Thriving isn’t easy to maintain. It takes work. It takes dedication to yourself. It takes a mindset of always moving forward, bettering yourself, challenging yourself, falling down and getting back up again, failing but continuing and progressing.

Change is hard, but so incredibly far from impossible.

The most important thing that you must do is take action.

I’m going to say that one more time for good measure:

TAKE ACTION.

That’s where it starts.

So I have put together a list of 10 steps (plus an extra bonus step) that you can take to move you towards thriving.

They aren’t simple steps. They’re not something you can do in an hour, or a day, or even a month. But they are a start. And if you stick with the steps (you might do them in order, but keep coming back to one here and there) you will change.

Your life will change.

You will thrive.

You can also download my FREE checklist. It contains these steps plus additional concrete action-steps that you can take (or begin working on) right away.

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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Check out my 3-day Self Love Mindset Bootcamp!

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Get your FREE checklist of 10 ACTION-STEPS to INSPIRE BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

CHOOSE. Set your intention to put YOU at the top of your to-do list.  To make YOU a priority and to choose an aspect of your life that you want to change. Make this change the focus of your positive energy. Your intention is powerful. If you set your intention to make change in your life, change will happen. Intention is not sitting back and waiting. Intention is taking steps towards thriving every day, no matter how small. So set your intention for change. Set your intention to thrive. Set your intention to no longer stay the same and to get unstuck.

DESIRE. Explore what it is that you want in your life.  Sometimes you have to figure out what it is you DON’T want first in order to hone in on what you DO want. Unfortunately, sometimes what we don’t want is much more easily accessible to our minds than what we do want.  When I ask clients what they want, often they answer that they do not know, but figuring out what it is that you do want will attract it to you. You will recognize it when you see it, which will instigate action.

PUSH. Set goals. You might already have a goal in mind, or you might have a few that have been bouncing around for awhile, or you might not even know where to start, but goal setting is extremely important. It keeps your change at the forefront of your mind. It gives you the ability to see progress. It keeps you focused.

DISCOVER.  Explore what’s underneath your surface.  That sounds vague, but it has to be, because generally, there is SO MUCH underneath what we show the world: beliefs, patterns of thinking, previous experience, what our parents believed, core values, obstacles, etc. This step is a HUGE one and tends to be the most intimidating. It can uncover pain, anger, hurt, sadness, and every other “emotion we would like to avoid.” So we often avoid it. Don’t. You need to figure out what makes you tick, what has gotten you stuck in the first place, what has contributed to your mindset/beliefs. Because once you understand it, you can start giving yourself a little credit for making it this far, for doing what you needed to do to survive. And once you understand it, you can move on from it, develop the skills to thrive and create change in your life.

ACKNOWLEDGE & VALIDATE.  Acknowledge your feelings and recognize them as valid, which to some might sound silly, but to most, is something really hard to do.  We often stuff our feelings and let them go by unacknowledged.  When we do name our feelings, we may often tell ourselves not to feel the way we are feeling or that these feelings may be wrong. This doesn’t mean that your actions are always right, but the feelings behind them are real to you, so allow them to be real. Acknowledge that they are there because unacknowledged feelings tend to grow, tend to lash out at you because they desperately want to be acknowledged and validated.

Do want some specific, tangible steps that you can begin working on right now?

Download my FREE CHECKLIST. You’ll have these steps outlined for you with specific action-steps related to each.

Take action now. Don’t wait.

RELEASE.   Let go of your previous experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. that are holding you back from achieving what you want in life.  You have discovered what some of these are in the Discover step. Release any past hurts, anger, beliefs about yourself and others. Those are the things that usually hold us back from change.  

LOVE & ACCEPT.  Love and accept YOU.  You may be wondering why it’s all the way down here as step #7 and not #1. This can be a loaded topic for most people and rushing into it can be overwhelming.  This can only be approached with understanding of oneself and acknowledgement, which you have explored in the previous steps. But loving yourself is the upmost importance. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t believe that you deserve to thrive, you won’t believe that change is possible, so you will not thrive and you will not change. Accept the parts of you that are hard to accept, the parts of you that you avoid, the parts of you that you feel other avoid. This doesn’t mean that you don’t want to change them, but accept yourself as an imperfect being, but so incredibly perfect as well.   

PROMOTE.  Put yourself out there and make your intentions known.  Its about taking the action steps towards reaching your goals and holding yourself accountable.  Building your belief in yourself.  Being vulnerable. Failing and getting back up again and again.  

THANK.  Live in a constant state of gratitude.  Be thankful for your progress, no matter how small that progress might feel right now, it is progress.  Thank yourself for even working through this checklist because that means you are motivated to push yourself towards a more thriving you. Be thankful for everything. When you fill your life with gratitude, you feel joy. How could you not? When you are in a constant state of gratitude and awe of what is going on around you it is hard to see the hard stuff. Its still there and we’re not ignoring it, but taking the time to feel gratitude can give you the energy to tackle the hard stuff.

SUSTAIN.  Develop momentum and keep these good vibes of self-development rolling.  Even though you’re doing great work, often when obstacles or challenges arise, you may fall back into our survival patterns again. You want to be ready to conquer what lies ahead of you, even the unforeseen.  You want to fortify your strength so that when these challenges do arise, you have the skills to manage them. So keep using the steps. Notice when you need to return to a specific step. Notice when you are struggling and acknowledge it. Its ok to struggle when you are working towards change. Just don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.    

BONUS step!

INVIGORATE.  Find your passion.  And if you already have a passion, fill your life with it. Immerse yourself in this passion. As you will hear me say time and time again, life without passion is not living.  Life without passion is not thriving, its surviving.

Are you ready to thrive?

Are you feeling stuck? Stagnant? Hindered from moving forward?

Then I have the PERFECT thing for you.

Introducing: My BRAND NEW course, Deserve to Thrive.

It is a 8-week self study course where I take you through the steps to thriving. You will set your intentions, create goals and daily routines, explore what is holding you back and how to overcome your obstacles.

Sound like something you'd love? I thought so.

It's finally here!

You don't want to miss it! 

You deserve to thrive. You owe this to yourself.

 

Are you stuck?

Let's fix that. 

Download my FREE CHECKLIST to start moving you towards freedom.

8 Signs you are Truly Thriving

8 Signs you are Truly Thriving

Are you ready for BIG CHANGE in your life but unsure of where to start?

I have the perfect thing for you..

Download my FREE CHECKLIST: 10 action-steps to inspire BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

We've talked a lot about some of the differences between surviving and thriving.

And we outlined 10 signs that you are suriviving life instead of thriving.

We've used thriving a LOT. But what is it?

Thriving is living.  Living is thriving.

They are interchangeable. But, how do you know if you are truly living or not? How can you tell if you are thriving?

Although you probably have your unique definition of what thriving means to you, here are some signs that indicate you are thriving:

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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Thrive & Transformational Life Coach pushing you towards BIG CHANGE

Check out my 3-day Self Love Mindset Bootcamp!

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Check out the Your Best Self Email course for FREE!

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Get your FREE checklist of 10 ACTION-STEPS to INSPIRE BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

You wake up with a purpose.  Look I don’t believe in the “I just LOVE waking up every day to go to work.” I just don’t.  Because we all love our days off. We all love to sleep in every once in awhile and we all love when we don’t have to work.  But that doesn’t mean we don’t love our work.  You can still be super passionate about your work and hate waking up in the morning. That’s me.  I hate it. I’m just not a morning person, but that’s just me (and I’m sure a lot of you out there - shout out to the morning monsters!).  My sister on the other hand loves getting up at 5am to workout. Good for her. All the power to her morning self.  But no matter if you are a morning person or NOT a morning person, when you are thriving, you are waking up with passion, with a PURPOSE, and with a strong feeling that you are going to accomplish something great today.

You enjoy life.  Isn’t this one of the most important things? And no, I don’t mean just enjoying it on the weekends.  I mean, Every. Single. Day.  Like I said above, there are going to be good days and bad days.  But life is meant to be enjoyed (at least that’s my philosophy).  Its not meant to just be moving from one day to the next.  When you are thriving, you enjoy every day and even if it’s a bad day (yes, you’re going to have bad days even when you’re thriving, I’m not a fan AT ALL of the #nobaddays trend – really I hate that, it puts too much pressure on us to think that we’re not going to have bad days, because when you are having a bad day you think to yourself, “well, I can’t use that hashtag today, can I?” and then you might not even post, and that’s just not right is it?!), you can still have moments throughout the day when that “bad day” vibe seems to lift. You’re excited and energized by what you do each and every day. Which leads me to my next point...

You feel fulfilled. What you spend your days doing fills you up. You feel useful and that you have a purpose.  You know that what you are doing makes a difference. You feel cared about and loved.  You have everything you want or if you don’t, you have a clear path as to how you are going to get it.

You embrace vulnerability. Being vulnerable is hard. Really hard. Like, really really REALLY hard. Its no joke. Being able to tell someone how you feel indicates two main things: you love and accept yourself fully, nonjudgmentally,  unconditionally and know that you are worth it so your feelings must be worth it too AND you trust that the other person (the one you are being vulnerable with) also loves and accepts you you fully, nonjudgmentally, and unconditionally, and knows that you are worth it and validates that your feelings are worth it too. Vulnerability is scary. It is allowing another person to see you for who you really are: raw and open.

You are mindful. Being mindful is about just being. Taking in each moment as it comes and seeing it for its beauty, its simplicity, its uniqueness. Its not constantly living in the past or future (although there is plenty of time to think about both as they are necessary to personal development), but living in the NOW. Loving the now. Accepting the now for what it is. You are empathetic to other’s needs, their feelings, their desires and are patient.

You live your life on your terms.  I know that as a mother and a wife (or a partner, employee, friend, daughter, etc) you kind of have to include others in your daily routine.  You can’t just live your life for yourself (which is what the opposite of the above “You live your life for others” in the surviving category).  But there is a big difference here.  Its on YOUR terms.  You choose to live a family-centered life.  Or you choose to include friends and others into your being. But its not ALL about others.  You’re in there too.  You are doing something that excites you, something that you are passionate about.  You take care of yourself.  You have time to fully focus on you. This doesn’t have to be every day, but its in there somewhere.  Yes, you have to answer to your boss and her/his needs and your responsibilities at work, but YOU are advocating for yourself, contributing your ideas, and being YOU every day at the workplace.  You’re not lost in what everyone else is doing. You are YOU and you give time for that YOU to shine.

You are progressing. Life is about moving forward, becoming better, stronger, more competent. If you want to be a CEO, its about moving up that ladder to get you there (or starting your own company so you’re CEO by default).  If you want a family and/or a strong partnership (not just a relationship, a partnership), its about finding the RIGHT partner (I emphasize right) and making that happen.  If you want to live a freedom lifestyle of traveling and ditching your 9-5, its about executing a strategy to do so. Progress doesn’t mean every few months you are making a huge step towards your goals. It doesn’t mean you will be CEO over night. It doesn’t mean that when you meet someone you are already planning your wedding day. It just means that everything you spend your time, energy, love, blood, sweat and tears on is moving you towards your goal.  Not moving you sideways.  Not moving you kind of sort of in the general direction of you goal. And the fact that you are moving towards your goal gives you joy. That the goal is something you really truly WANT, not a goal that your parents want for you or society tells you you should have. A goal also doesn’t have to be crazy lofty either.  If you don’t want to be a CEO, you don’t have to be.  Your goal may be to only work 15 hours a week in a just any old job because you want to have time to do the things that light your soul on fire or live where you want to live so you do a job that gets you that.  Progress looks different to everyone. Someone’s idea of progress might be completely different from their best friend’s idea of progress, but it all comes down to what do you want, what do you REALLY want, and when you are thriving, everything you do is in motion towards what you want.

You think you kickass. This doesn’t mean that you think you are God’s gift to this Earth.  This doesn’t mean that you have an inflated ego and think everyone should kneel down and worship you.  Heck no. But this DOES mean that you love yourself unconditionally and think you have so much to offer this world.  Not only in your work/career, but in your personal relationships too.  You think that you’re a catch, that anyone would be lucky to date you and that you’d be a kickass partner. You think that any company is missing out if they don’t hire you. And simultaneously, even though you feel this way, you are constantly making sure you continue to feel this way.  You are constantly working on yourself so you are the best version of your kickass self.  You go to trainings and workshops to increase your knowledge because even though you’re smart, you know you don’t know everything and there is so much amazingness to learn in this world. You know what you have to offer because you’ve busted your butt to be YOU.  And YOU are pretty darn cool.

So now that you’ve had a little time to let all this marinate,

Which one are you?

Are you ready to thrive?

Are you feeling stuck? Stagnant? Hindered from moving forward?

Then I have the PERFECT thing for you.

Introducing: My BRAND NEW course, Deserve to Thrive.

It is a 8-week self study course where I take you through the steps to thriving. You will set your intentions, create goals and daily routines, explore what is holding you back and how to overcome your obstacles.

Sound like something you'd love? I thought so.

It's finally here!

You don't want to miss it! 

You deserve to thrive. You owe this to yourself.

 

10 ways to Identify if you are Surviving Life instead of Thriving

10 ways to Identify if you are Surviving Life instead of Thriving

Are you ready for BIG CHANGE in your life but unsure of where to start?

I have the perfect thing for you..

Download my FREE CHECKLIST: 10 action-steps to inspire BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

I’m going to be brutally honest. Surviving life SUCKS.

Like, really sucks.

As we discussed before, there is a big difference between surviving life and thriving. But how do you know if you’re just surviving life? Is it a feeling? Do you just know? Or is it sometimes hard to tell? Can some people go their whole lives surviving and never “know” (I put it in quotation because I believe that we all know on some level when we are not completely satisfied, we just often make excuses or we choose to focus on the parts of our lives where we are thriving).

Here are 10 ways to identify if you are in survival mode:

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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Thrive & Transformational Life Coach pushing you towards BIG CHANGE

Check out my 3-day Self Love Mindset Bootcamp!

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Check out the Your Best Self Email course for FREE!

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Get your FREE checklist of 10 ACTION-STEPS to INSPIRE BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

Each day you get up because you have to. Surviving is about moving through life without PASSION. Its about just getting by.  Not LOVING life, but just liking it a little bit (or not at all).  It doesn’t mean you’re depressed and always down.  It doesn’t mean that you’re always anxious and worried.  Nope. It means that you’re just getting through the day.  Doing what you have to do. Getting things done.

You often just run through the motions.  Alarm goes off and you get up. You grab your coffee because you need it.  You do your morning routine (whatever that may be) and head to work. You do your work (you might even kickass at it) and you wait until that moment you can go home.  You may even meet friends for happy hour.  You may not.  You even may work out. You may not. You may just go home, plop down on your couch, turn on Netflix, order some take-out and settle down for the night. You may even cook an amazing meal. You may even have a partner to sit down with and chat about your day.  But you often have nothing exciting to share. Yeah, maybe you nailed that presentation, or booked a new client, but still felt like something was missing.  A day without passion means a day that was just another day.

You are engaged in the things you are doing, but you’re not excited about them.  To just be surviving doesn’t mean that you’re not successful in your job.  It also doesn’t mean you’re in a low-paying, dead-end job.  You could be running your own company and still be in the surviving category.  You could be making $1 million a year and be surviving (I know that sounds ludicrous to some of you, but money definitely isn’t everything – and yes, yes, that’s what they all say).  You could be moving up the corporate ladder at an earth-shattering pace. Yes, you can be all these things (because you’re still a kickass human being who is pretty freakin’ smart) and still be just surviving. And this relates to relationships too (don’t think I forget about your love life!).

You’re riding the rails of an emotional roller coaster.  Some people say that there are good days and bad days.  Now, I agree, there are definitely good days and bad days.  Some days are just inherently better than others.  But when you are surviving, the swing between good days and bad days is HUGE.  There are a lot of bad days and when it’s a bad day, it is a BAD day.  And when it’s a good day, it’s a GOOD day.  Sometimes there is an anxiety in the morning about what kind of day it will be. And when a bad day happens, it often makes you lose sight of all the good days like the good days never happen and possibly won’t happen again, that life its just a string of bad days put together.

You hide (aka stuff) your emotions. When you feel a strong emotion, you don’t tell anyone about it. Or you minimize it. Or you tell yourself that you shouldn’t feel that way. You push your feelings aside and tell yourself that they are not important, or no one will understand, or no one will accept them. You tell yourself that you can get over it or that maybe you were misinterpreting something. When you’re mad, you tell yourself you’re over-reacting (and maybe you do end up over-reacting because of all the times when you have told yourself you shouldn’t be angry). When you’re hurt, you cry alone (or you suck it up and shove it aside). When someone lets you down, you cut them out of your life as a way to avoid telling them they messed up. Your feelings are like an iceberg: only showing about 10% to the world.

You live for the weekend.  I hear this a lot. “I just LIVE for the weekend.” Fridays can’t come soon enough. So each week is 7 days and you “live” for only 2 of them? Wow. That sounds really tough.  Turns out, you’re only “living” 104 days out of the year. No matter how you fill your weekend (sleeping in, making plans with friends, drinking, or binge watching Netflix), 2 days is just not enough time to truly be living.

You often see the negatives in a situation first.  This doesn’t mean that you are always a negative person, but it does mean that whenever something happens to you or others, or someone has an idea and explains it to you, or you’re faced with adversity, you often recognize the negatives about whatever it is first.  You might get to the positives eventually, but the negatives are what pop into your mind initially.

You live your life for others. As a mom, my days right now are pretty much dictated by what my baby needs (she’s only 7 months old, so that kind of makes sense).  And that’s ok, but many many years of only doing what my babies and kids (and husband too!) need, now that’s draining and a life that is not lived for me, its lived solely for others.  Maybe you’re not married and don’t have kids, but you’re constantly having to answer to bosses, or family members, or friends, or a partner, who drain you of your “you-ness,” who occupy all the emotional space in your life and don’t allow you (maybe they don’t even mean to, most people don’t) any space in your own life.  You’re constantly thinking about what others need and rarely thinking about what you need. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked a client, “What do you want [or need]” and they pause, tear up, maybe even cry, because no one, not even themselves, has ever asked them that question.

You’re making no progress. Life is all about progress.  We never want to be stagnant.  Stagnant = stuck. No progress = stuck.  And stuck = surviving.  When you’re not progressing you are settling.  You are settling for the life you were given, not the life you have seized.  We can settle in so many areas of our lives: work/career, relationships, family conflicts/situations, friendships, where we live, where we travel (or if we travel at all), etc.

You think you’re “just ok.” This is a bit of a self esteem and self confidence issue. You don’t really believe in yourself.  You might sometimes (on those good days), but generally, most of the time, you don’t.  You often use negative language to describe yourself or your situation in life. You get down on yourself A LOT. You believe that your qualities are fixed, that there is no room for growth (more on the fixed vs. growth mindset later).   All in all, you’re just not jazzed about being you.

You could be ALL of the above things or just a few, but no matter what if you identified with any of these statements you might be closer to the “surviving” end of the spectrum (everything is on a spectrum – you’re never ALL one thing or ALL another, that’s life, we don’t live in black or white, we live in the grey and sometimes that can be hard).

And you might not have identified with some of the above statements.  So that brings me to what thriving is.

So what does thriving look like?

Read more here.

So where are you?  Did you relate with any of the above?

I have the perfect thing for you if you want to explore yourself further.

Download my FREE CHECKLIST: 10 action-steps you can take today to tackle any of the issues above and deepen your self-understanding.

 

More From the surviving vs. thriving series:

 

Surviving vs. Thriving: Which one are You? 

 

8 Ways you Know you are Thriving

 

Are you ready to thrive?

Are you feeling stuck? Stagnant? Hindered from moving forward?

Then I have the PERFECT thing for you.

Introducing: My BRAND NEW course, Deserve to Thrive.

It is a 8-week self study course where I take you through the steps to thriving. You will set your intentions, create goals and daily routines, explore what is holding you back and how to overcome your obstacles.

Sound like something you'd love? I thought so.

It's finally here!

You don't want to miss it! 

You deserve to thrive. You owe this to yourself.

 

Surviving vs. Thriving: Which one are you?

Surviving vs. Thriving: Which one are you?

Are you ready for BIG CHANGE in your life but unsure of where to start?

I have the perfect thing for you..

Download my FREE CHECKLIST: 10 action-steps to inspire BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

My focus as a life coach is to inspire you to create your THRIVE in your life. Because, let’s throw it out there, we all DESERVE to live our best life.

Let’s say that one more time.

WE ALL DESERVE TO LIVE OUR BEST LIFE.

(I’m not shouting, I promise, I just really, really believe it).

We do. Even if you don’t believe it, you do.  You deserve to have everything you want.

Everything.

So answer this question for me:

Are just surviving through your life or are you living a fulfilled, thriving life?  Are you just getting by, or are you truly, LIVING?

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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Thrive & Transformational Life Coach pushing you towards BIG CHANGE

Check out my 3-day Self Love Mindset Bootcamp!

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Check out the Your Best Self Email course for FREE!

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Get your FREE checklist of 10 ACTION-STEPS to INSPIRE BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

You may know the answer, or you may be scratching your head (really, who scratches their head when they’re confused), I mean, tilting your head like a sweet puppy (that’s better...) wondering what in the world does “surviving” mean? Does it mean that I can barely make enough money to eat, put a roof over my head, or live in my parent’s basement?  Does it mean that I don’t have a job, education, or career?  Does it mean that I am alone, no partner, no friends?

Although the above questions embody the textbook definition of what “surviving” could mean, there is so much more to it.

And it may surprise you how simply surviving life, can go by undetected, hidden, unseen, unnoticed (ok, I think you get the point). It can be masked by other wins in your life.  It can be overshadowed by other difficulties in your life like depression, anxiety, or trauma, which are often at the forefront of your mind (and often can cause the survival mode – but the two don’t have to co-exist either).

Surviving is going through your life, each day, day after day, for the forseeable future.  It might just be in one area of your life.  It could be that you are thriving in seven areas in your life, but surviving in one. Or you could be surviving in all aspects of life except one, but that one happens to be your career so it takes up all of your time and you are left with no time to focus on anything else.

But thriving....

Thriving is living. It is having passion in every aspect of your life: work/career, love/romance, friendships/social life, health/fitness, your finances, your lifestyle, and your personal development (self-esteem/worth/confidence/belief/compassion) and knowing who you are and what you want.

Its OWNING you. Owning who you are. Owning what you are about and feeling great about it.

Back to my question:

Are you surviving?

Or are you THRIVING?

Are you ready to thrive?

Are you feeling stuck? Stagnant? Hindered from moving forward?

Then I have the PERFECT thing for you.

Introducing: My BRAND NEW course, Deserve to Thrive.

It is a 8-week self study course where I take you through the steps to thriving. You will set your intentions, create goals and daily routines, explore what is holding you back and how to overcome your obstacles.

Sound like something you'd love? I thought so.

It's finally here!

You don't want to miss it! 

You deserve to thrive. You owe this to yourself.