How to work with me for FREE

How to work with me for FREE

You landed on this page for a reason.

You said to yourself, “hmmm… I could use some coaching. I feel like I am not thriving like I should be. I’m curious about what it means to get free coaching.”

You’re saying to yourself, that you deserve change in your life, you deserve to no longer survive or be stuck, but to move upward and onward with your life and thrive.

You said to yourself: You deserve to thrive.

You said all that just but clicking a link.

Crazy right?!

That sure was a loaded click.

You have told yourself that you deserve to thrive and that maybe this is the time to get a move on.

You deserve to thrive.

And I believe that wholeheartedly. Absolutely wholeheartedly. Because you deserve to live your best life. You deserve to wake up happy and full of energy. You deserve to have your day filled with joy and excitement. You deserve to be in a life-giving, passionate relationship with a partner you love and who absolutely adores you. You deserve to have a career that lights you up. You deserve to be healthy and fit and a sexy mamba jamba, with rock hard abs and an ass that won’t quit. You deserve to have deep relationships with your friends and family and be constantly supported and lifted up by those around you.

You deserve all these things.

My mission is to help you believe it too.

So back to this whole “How to get 1 month of coaching for free.”

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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Get your FREE checklist of 10 ACTION-STEPS to INSPIRE BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

I’m going to give you the opportunity to work with me for free.

Yup, that’s right. I said free. And I know what you’re thinking, nothing is free these days, what’s the catch? And I’m going to answer that. Nothing. There is no catch.

But I am only going to offer this to one person and there is only one way to “enter”:

TAKE ACTION.

(if you’re on my email list you already know that I am obsessed with taking action. You can’t just sit and wait for things to happen to you. You can’t just hope that things will change. You have to take action – and you’ve already taken one small action by clicking the link and coming to this page – like I said, that was a statement to yourself that you deserve MORE).

The only way to get the opportunity to win a free 1-month coaching package with me is to take action.

So what does that mean?

In order to enter, you must book a discovery call with me.

What is a discovery call? Its is a 25-minute phone or skype conversation with me. I will ask you a few questions, you will get to know me a little bit, you will have the opportunity to ask me any questions you like, and you will leave with a few action-steps that you can take towards thriving. Completely free. No catch. No pitch. No obligation to buy a package. Nada.

Just some 1:1 time with me for 25 minutes.

Your discovery call must be completed though. Sorry, no dine and dashes here. You gotta muster up the courage and get on the phone with me. You have to be vulnerable and let me in on what your struggles are right now. Its hard. I know it. I’ve been there. But this is the only way change will happen in your life, if you take action.

I’m kind of a pusher. I’ve been pushed my whole life, I’ve been pushed when I’ve wanted to be pushed and I’ve been pushed when I really didn’t want to be pushed. So I get it. You either love it or you hate it.

But the only reason why I push is because I know what you deserve, and deep down, even if its hard to see it sometimes, I know you know you deserve it too, or else you wouldn’t be here.

So book your free call. And give yourself the opportunity to get my Discover package for free ($997 value).

Calls must be completed by December 20 and the winner will be announced on December 21.

And if you’d like to join my email list and get more inspiration like this a few times a week, grab one of my freebies. I know you’ll love it.

Checklist: 10 Action-Steps to inspire Big Change and Transformation

I want to Thrive

Workbook: How to get Unstuck

I want to Free myself!

Caught in the Mire: 10 signs you are Stuck

Caught in the Mire: 10 signs you are Stuck

Do you feel stuck and don’t know where to start?

I have the perfect thing for you..

Download my FREE WORKBOOK: How to Get Unstuck and start paving your path to thriving TODAY.

You hear it all the time. You might have heard a friend use this when referring to themselves. You may have a family member who has said it. Maybe you have even used this word to describe yourself.  Or maybe, sadly, you’ve had someone else describe you this way.

Stuck.

You’re stuck.

I’m stuck.

Stuck.

What does it mean to be stuck?

It feels like such a cloudy word that means something different for everyone. And it can mean entirely different things from person to person, but everyone who defines themselves as “stuck” has one thing in common:

You are not making progress.

No progress = Being stuck.

Stuck = No progress.

And no progress feels bad. Its not right for us not to be progressing. We are meant to be constantly evolving and growing, bettering and challenging ourselves.

Being stuck can feel like quicksand, slow moving, and the more you try to move (in the wrong way), the more you move away from progress.

So how do you know you are stuck?

Here are 10 signs you are stuck:

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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You have dreams, you’re just not going for them.

You know what you want (or you kind of know what you want, you have ideas, you’ve toyed with it, you see others doing the thing that you want to do and the thought crosses your mind that you should be doing it too). You have dreams. You know who you really are inside, your true authentic self. You’re just not doing anything about it. You’re acting. You are doing what you think you should be doing. You dream, you just don’t go for it. You know who you are, you’re just not being you. You’re fitting yourself into a box that someone else put around you because they thought it was right for you. Well, they’re wrong. And you’re stuck in that box.

>> Amazing article alert! Are You Brave Enough To Do What You Long To In Your Life? Find Out By Kathy Caprino <<  

Your job isn’t your career.

I remember when I realized when my job wasn’t my career and how it was my semantics that defined this realization.  I would say, “I work at a money management firm” or “I work at a school.”  It wasn’t until I could say, “I AM a therapist, “ and “I AM a life coach” that I realized that I had found a career.

But what is the difference between a job and a career?

A job is something you do because you need to do something. A job is a way to pay the bills. A job is something that gives you money so you can do the things you want to do.

A career is something you feel passionate about. A career is something you dedicate your life to. A career is a representation of who you are. A career is something you believe in and want others to believe in as well. A career makes you feel alive and fulfilled.

You make just enough money to get by.

You are constantly checking out your bank account, worried about what you might see. You shy away from activities with friends because you can’t afford it. You rarely take vacations or do something nice for yourself. You are doing anything and everything to make sure your bills are paid, you might even work a few different jobs.

You’re in a relationship, but you avoid any conversation of the future.

You may have a partner. They may be great. You may have a lot of fun, but for some reason, you never bring up the future. Maybe you never even really think about the future. You don’t imagine your life with them long-term. You say, “I just want to be in the now,” “I want to stay in the moment” etc. But in reality, you’re avoiding something.  You’re avoiding the fact that this person might not be your forever person. The person might be wonderful, but they might be safe. [sometimes safe is great and right and perfect for you, but other times safe is easy, comfortable, doesn’t challenge you to be stronger, better, etc.]. The person might take care of you, be super sweet, and hang on your every word, but they don’t light a fire in you.

You’re in a relationship, but your partner avoids any conversations about the future.

This one can be really hard to swallow if you believe this person is your forever person, but sometimes you can be in a relationship where the other person is the one that doesn’t talk about the future. They avoid any discussion of what’s next. Sure, they might make plans for trips or activities, but when it comes to long-term, they’re not there yet. They shy away from the “moving in” talk, or you rarely spend holidays together, and don’t even think about the idea of marriage.  You have fun together, you have similar friends, you spend all your time on the weekends out with others, but that is all your relationship is: fun.

You’re in a relationship, but you fight all the time about the same things.

This is a big one when it comes to being stuck in relationships: progress. I don’t really believe in relationships where people say they “never fight.” Come on, really? To me, there’s no way, but maybe that’s because I’m a challenger and I like to be challenged, but I believe that in a true deep relationship there are going to be times when you disagree or someone does something wrong. There are constant “misses” in relationships, but the key is that when you “miss” your partner, you learn from it, so that you don’t “miss” them in the same way again.

You’re not in a relationship and you want to be.

You’re alone. Or you’re going on date after date and not finding someone who clicks. You’ve had relationships in the past, but they just didn’t find a way to work out. Or you’ve never really had any strong or lasting relationships.  You haven’t let anyone “in” or for some reason you keep letting the wrong people “in.” You’re too picky or not picky enough.

You’re not in a relationship and you don’t want to be.

I know, this sounds silly, because if you don’t want to be in a relationship and you’re not, then how are you stuck? Well, I think people who say they don’t want to be in a relationship are just making excuses or protecting themselves from getting hurt or being vulnerable. [its a completely different story when someone is going through a break-up or healing from a previous relationship or going through a deeper journey of self discovery – then I believe its healthy to not want to be in a relationship]. I don’t believe we are meant to spend life alone, so when someone is single, has been single for a long time, and tells me that they like it that way, I call bull@#$. That is a big indication to me that they are stuck in something deeper within themselves. Usually this can be fear of a past relationship replaying itself, or getting hurt, hurting someone else, or opening up to another.

Your health is not what it should be.

You’ve tried (or maybe not tried at all) to eat healthy, work out and exercise, meditate, etc. but nothing seems to work. You may even be on the thinner side, but you feel weak. You don’t feel strong in your body. You are tired going up a flight of stairs. You may be overweight. You are stuck at a certain weight and you can’t seem to lose those last 10 pounds. Family members may say they are worried about your health. You may be anxious or depressed. You may be obsessed about food.

Whatever your particular situation is with health, when you’re stuck, you’re not at your optimal. You’re not feeling your best. When you feel healthy, you feel like you can accomplish anything. Work becomes easier. Your self esteem and self confidence is higher.

You have a low self esteem.

Your self talk is constantly negative, you’re incessantly comparing yourself to others, and you don’t believe that you deserve whatever it is that you want. You let others, partners, friends, and family, take advantage of you. You believe that you will always be stuck, that being stuck is just who you are. You don’t speak up for yourself and you settle for relationships that are mediocre. You may feel passionate about something, but you don’t share it with others because you don’t think they will care.

If you identify with any of these signs, its ok, because you’re not alone.

We all go through phases of being stuck and unstuck, but the key is recognizing it, and taking action.
I’ve made a workbook just for guiding you through your stuckness.

It is designed to help you identify the areas in your life where you feel stuck and brainstorm ways to make changes so that you can no longer feel stuck.

It is by no means a one sized fits all workbook, but can help you to think critically about your stuckness, so that you can take steps towards change and begin to pave a path towards thriving.

This workbook is not the end of your journey, it is the beginning.

I have made this document a fillable PDF so that you can get to work right now without running to your nearest printer.

I have something you will love.

A weekly email course where each week deep dives into a new affirmation, gives you ideas for action-steps to FEEL that affirmation and manifest it in your life, take steps towards THRIVING, and be your BEST SELF.

You will also receive self care tips, inpiration, and self discovery questions to help you explore who you are and how to move forward in your life, get UNSTUCK and start THRIVING.

You're going to LOVE it.

How to let go of Anger

How to let go of Anger

Anger management is a hot (and yet so cold) topic.

Why? Because we all shy away from talking about our anger. Its like we don’t want people to know we get angry.

Well, I’m going to get real vulnerable with you all and tell you a quick story about my journey with anger and how I’ve been learning to let it go (always a process of course!).

At the beginning of my relationship with my now husband, we were inseparable (I guess that hasn’t changed) and spent a LOT of time together (another thing that hasn’t changed). We had a lot of “getting to know each other” to do even though we went to highschool together 8 years prior. And even though we were in the honeymoon phase, because we were spending all our days together, we still fought quite a bit.

Most of the time it was me getting upset or angry.

He would do something and I would get frustrated and I would or would not tell him about this frustration and then he would do it again and as the frustrations accumulated my tolerance for “stuffing” it dwindled.

It would go a little something like this (and this is an actual real life example):

He would have a baseball game in the valley (this was when we lived in Los Angeles and for those of you who are not familiar with the valley, it took forever to get to because of the horrible LA traffic), which he would leave almost 2 hours before to get to. I would be out or at work and text or call him with no answer. I would come back to the apartment, and text or call him with no answer. Each time there was no answer, my anxiety would raise a bit. Is he ok? Oh my gosh, what if he got in a car accident. What if something happened? I would then picture him on the side of the road somewhere and my mind would run away with this scary idea (I hope I’m not the only person who does this). My anxiety would raise quite a bit, and then I would see his phone sitting on the counter, and the anxiety would turn into anger.

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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The anger would last for hours as I just sat and stewed about the fact that he forgot his phone. Stewing and stewing about him leaving his phone.

Simply leaving his phone.

There was nothing important I needed to tell him.  I knew where he was. I had nothing I needed from him in that moment. He was just playing a fun baseball game.

But yet, I stewed and stewed.

And it happened a couple times a week. He would forget his phone when he went somewhere and I couldn’t contact him and I stewed.

My frustrations would grow. Even though I expressed the growing frustrations, he was so confused by them. He was so confused as to why I was getting so angry at seemingly innocuous situations. Yeah, ok, I get it, you worry when I don’t have my phone, but why are you so angry.  Are you just an angry person?

I definitely didn’t feel like an angry person and I never really thought I had an anger management problem. But why in the world was I getting SO angry about this little thing.

Even though I felt completely grounded in my frustrations and felt that they were completely valid, let’s be real here, it was a freakin phone.

Well, they were and they weren’t.

Because what was behind the little things that would frustrate me, like the leaving of the phone, were deep-rooted fears that I had no idea were there. Deep-rooted fears that had absolutely nothing to do with him leaving a phone or me worrying about him being in a car accident.

I’m going to tell you how I figured out that it was actually something much deeper (and give you a free worksheet!), which is the same tactic I now frequently use with my clients when they have issues with anger, depression, or anxiety.

How to identify underlying thought patterns.

Get your FREE Anger Tracker Now!

When this was going on, I had just started social work school. I was learning all about how we have way more underneath the surface than we even realize.

But I didn’t think that was me. No way. I was totally aware of everything that was going on with me.

Until I was getting angry all the time and luckily had a patient enough partner to take a step back and say “Hey! What the heck is going on here?” instead of just getting mad and starting a yelling match.

So I did what most people do in this situation.

They go to Amazon and the look for a self-help book. I’m not quite sure what I typed into the search box, but I came up with “Couple Skills: Making your Relationship Work” (

I honestly thought it was just my way of being in a relationship so I wanted to learn some new skills on communication (not necessariliy anger management) and tolerating a partner who does things that pisses you off (because clearly I thought he was the issue).

I was just starting to learn about cognitive behavior therapy and the power of our thoughts to control how we are feeling. And I was learning about how sometimes we believe thoughts that are untrue, which can be so confusing because aren’t all of our thoughts and feelings valid?

NOPE. BIG NOPE. BIGGER THAN BIG NOPE.

I had no idea what I was feeling had more to do with something I was thinking underneath the surface. That my feelings were valid, but my thoughts were not.

So here is what I did:

I started tracking my thoughts.

I used a combination of the thought tracking exercise they introduce in the book and CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) tactics to create my own thought tracking worksheet (which you can download for yourself at the bottom of the page). I was pretty much doing what I did with my clients on myself (which I do and don’t recommend at the same time – I would have much rather talked to someone who was trained in analyzing and understanding my thoughts and who was then able to connect those thoughts to my behaviors).

I wrote down the event. In this example, it was simply, He forgot his phone.

I rated how angry I was on a scale of 0-10, 0 being not angry at all and 10 being the most angry I could ever be.

I kept track of when I would get upset. Literally, the time of day.

I noted what else was going on for me right then, if there was anything else adding to my stress: I had just eaten, or I haven’t eaten for hours, I was stuck in traffic, I had a tough session with a client, I had a great session with a client, I had a lot of clients in a row, I had a project due, my back hurt, I was tired, etc. Doing this brought my awareness to everything else that was going on my life at that moment where I realized his phone was gone. Often there was a lot going on.

Next, I wrote down all my thoughts in order of how they come to me, like brainstorming or stream of consciousness.  After each thought, I would ask myself, “What is the worst thing the thought could mean” or “What would the worst thing be if that thought were true?” Here’s an example:

I’m so angry he forgot his phone again. What’s the worst thing that could mean. Well it could mean he doesn’t care that he doesn’t have his phone. Ok, what is the worst thing that could mean. It could mean he doesn’t care that I can’t get a hold of him. Well that sucks, but what is the worst thing that could mean? It could mean he doesn’t care to talk to me. Ouch yeah that sucks. And what is the worst thing that could mean if that were true? It means he doesn’t care about me.

BINGO.

The underlying problem. Right there.

When my partner left his phone at home it made me feel like he didn’t care about me. And that hurt. And what do we do when we’re hurt? Usually we mask it with anger.

What I have come to find is that anger is what we call a “second order emotion.” Generally there is another feeling underneath that our anger is trying to hide.  

But I didn’t stop there.

Once I realized that I was feeling he didn’t care about me, I would list the “evidence” that this thought, the thought that my partner didn’t care about me, was untrue.

How did I know it was untrue? Well, he does this, he does that, he shows me he loves me this way and that way, when he does have his phone he is super responsive, he spends all his time with me, he’s super sweet and thoughtful, blah blah blah etc. etc. etc.

I rated how much I believed this underlying thought how much I believed the thought of “He doesn’t care about me” of on a scale from 0-10. The rating usually was close to the 0 end.

This wonderful realization didn’t come the first time I did this. I had to do it a few times to really get the hang of the exploration of my thoughts and how to discover what the worst thing would be. So be patient. And kind.

BE PATIENT AND KIND WITH YOURSELF.

Lastly, I rated my anger again. And low and behold, my rating that I started out with had plummeted.

The best thing that came out of this exercise (other than gaining a priceless anger management skill)  was I now knew what my underlying feeling was and was able to talk to my partner about it. I was able to open up and communicate my fears.

And guess what, once I did that, he never forgot his phone again.

My point is not to have a partner that stops doing the things that frustrate you so you never have to get angry again (I wouldn’t count on that), but to be more mindful and have more understanding about your triggers.

Grab your “Anger Tracker” now

and start identifying what’s really making you angry.

I have something you will love.

A weekly email course where each week deep dives into a new affirmation, gives you ideas for action-steps to FEEL that affirmation and manifest it in your life, take steps towards THRIVING, and be your BEST SELF.

You will also receive self care tips, inpiration, and self discovery questions to help you explore who you are and how to move forward in your life, get UNSTUCK and start THRIVING.

You're going to LOVE it.

5 Mindfulness Exercises to Calm your Anxiety: Breathing Colors

5 Mindfulness Exercises to Calm your Anxiety: Breathing Colors

Are you ready for BIG CHANGE in your life but unsure of where to start?

I have the perfect thing for you..

Download my FREE CHECKLIST: 10 action-steps to inspire BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

The breathing colors activity also builds off of the breath awareness exercise.  It uses all the same techniques, noticing your breath, how it moves in and out of your nostrils, and how it flows through your lungs and into your body.  But instead of simply focusing on your breath, you are going to give it a color.

Select a color for the in-breath and a different color for the out-breath.

You can even choose a color if you are holding your breath in between (if you choose to hold).

Choose your colors before you begin the exercise. Close your eyes and imagine your in-breath color. See it clearly even though your eyes are closed. Feel the color. Imagine it enveloping your entire body. Sit with that color for a few moments. Really get to know it.

Let’s practice using your in-breath color completely on its own.

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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Bring your attention to your breath, not changing it in any way.

Just noticing for a few breaths. Now, as you breathe in, imagine your breath is the color you have chosen. Imagine the color entering through your nostrils (or mouth if you are more comfortable) and moving through your body. Imagine the color moving through your nose, to your throat, to your lungs, and then out to all the parts of your body, all the way out to the tips of your fingers and toes.

Imagine the color become bolder with each breath you give it.

The more life you give your body, the brighter the color becomes. As you begin to feel more confident with your breath and your color, you can start to incorporate the out-breath color.

Instead of flowing through your nostrils out into your body, your out-breath color moves backwards. It moves from the tips of your fingers and toes, back through the body, into the lungs, up through the throat, out the nostrils, and out into the world.

Continue to breathe your colors. Imagining them getting brighter and bolder with each life-giving breath.

5 Mindfulness Exercises to Calm your Anxiety: Alien Objects

5 Mindfulness Exercises to Calm your Anxiety: Alien Objects

Are you ready for BIG CHANGE in your life but unsure of where to start?

I have the perfect thing for you..

Download my FREE CHECKLIST: 10 action-steps to inspire BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

Alien Objects is a super fun (at least I think so) mindfulness exercise that forces you to take on a whole new perspective on the things around you. Often we see the same things every day. On the road to work we see the same billboards, the same stop lights (or if you’re like me and live on an island without stop lights, you see the same stop signs), the same trees, maybe even the same people if you commute via public transportation.  You see the same people, eat the same foods, and hold the same cell phone.

But what if it was all new to you?

Like you had never seen any of it before. Like you had landed on a new planet and it was completely different than Earth.

This is the essence of the Alien Objects exercise.

YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE!

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Thrive & Transformational Life Coach pushing you towards BIG CHANGE

Register now for my FREE 3-day Self Love Mindset Bootcamp!

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Check out the Your Best Self Email course for FREE!

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Get your FREE checklist of 10 ACTION-STEPS to INSPIRE BIG CHANGE and start paving your path to THRIVING.

Everything is BRAND SPANKING NEW.

So I want you to grab something that you see every day. I’m tempted to say grab your phone, but I also don’t want you to be distracted by incoming texts, Facebook or Instagram notifications (or Snapchat for you hip kids), or reminders that you need to send an email.

But using your phone might be the ULTIMATE mindfulness exercise because its so darn tempting.

For the sake of this exercise, I’m going to use the phone. Because its one thing that I know we all have and the one thing that sometimes seems to rule our lives, so it might be fun to gain a little perspective on labeling it a “foreign object” that isn’t attached to our hip.

So grab your phone and just take it in for a second. Feel its weight.  How it feels in your hand. The curves. The texture.

Imagine that this is something that you have never done before.

That this object in your hand is brand new, that you’ve never seen it before, that you actually have no idea what it is. That you have no idea what it even does, what its used for, why people would even want it.

Notice everything about the phone. Describe each and every feature of it. How would you describe it to your best friend? How would you tell them about it so that they could picture what you are holding?

Notice.

Notice how the screen reflects. Notice how the buttons feel under your finger. Notice how it lights up when you press one. Imagine seeing it light up for the first time and your surprise.  Why does it light up? What is it for? What can I do with it?

Come back to the color. The textures. The weight of the phone in your hand. Move it around. Describe it again. Do you notice anything different than what you noticed before?

Now, put it down and leave it for a moment.

Imagine that you didn’t need it. That it was just some random object that you picked up on this foreign planet.

<<Whoops, didn’t realize that was going to turn into a meditation on letting go of your phone for a moment.>>

I encourage you to do this briefly with an object every day (or every other day – however often you want, just try to make a small habit out of it). It will not only slow you down for a moment, allow your mind to clear of all the to-do lists and “have tos,” but it will cause your perspective to shift and for gratitude for the things in your life to seep in.